at the most basic level, the largest challenge on this plane is that of duality. the idea that two sides can be equal but opposite sits heavily in our minds. our world is divided between mutually exclusive options, or "opposites". if this, then not that. night and day, light and dark, male and female, even our bodies have sides, left and right. the problem with this view of polarities is that each "side" would seem to compete with the other for survival, instead of swinging in a harmonic dance of balance. the most consuming problem with our world is that male and female, instead of recognizing themselves in the other and loving what is different, have been pit against one another. this is the danger of looking at the world as all or nothing about anything.
anyway, don't all things seem only and ever to be defined by their "opposite"? and in a way, doesn't that just make them the very exact same, just in reverse; or from another point of view; or inside out? i mean, what is day but absence of night, or left what isn't right? the kicker here is that even though our world may seem to be either light or dark, warm or cold, man or woman, really everything stems from the same fountain, the infinite, godly universe.
and anyhow, within all things are the seed of their opposite. take creation and destruction. everything alive has the seed of its own death present at its birth. and all things destroyed make way for what is created. even fire when it burns gives off water vapor. it's pretty much the yin yang, as passe as that may be, it is true. within every shadow there is a world of light. the truth is that there is only ever the balance and being able to feel, understand, and experience both the light and the dark equally is the key to happiness.
the key to the key to happiness would then be paradox, or being able to hold two conflicting but equally valid points of view inside your mind until they merge. this often involves a lot of breathing calmly while you give both "opposites" fair trial in your mind. meanwhile the universe works out a new and unique solution to your particular "opposites" problem as you hold each side in equal regard. then a new reality where you appreciate both sides and see both sides and feel both sides equally is ushered in and you win.
for example, take the idea "self-destruction is bad". here we have the age-old "good" camp somewhere far, far away from the "bad" camp that is right here, being self-destruction itself. So basically then "self-destruction is good" and "self-destruction is bad" are the two opposing sides here and i am going to show you how although "self-destruction is bad" may seem "good", nothing is ever really only good or bad. consider my ideas about spiritual death, how we all need to allow our old selves to die to our new selves. now, the people who do not do this have forced spiritual deaths, often by things like drugs or alcohol, but also by things like car crashes, family members having problems, or other random events that shake us to our core and make us question ourselves. wouldn't you rather be in charge of your own lessons? if you actively seek out ways to make yourself better, even if only by killing off your past selves in a fairly (emotionally) violent way, you leave less teaching and spanking to be done by your loved ones and the universe. in this way, your self-destruction is helpful.
in this way, "self destruction is bad" becomes untrue, a paradox is born, and there is now space in your life for self-destruction as a positive activity. the point of all this is that paradox, or opposite-blending, is the only way to get deeper into anything. As the world is caving in on itself, the only way out is in at this point. also, paradox goes a long way to make suffering meaningful, and anything can be borne if it has meaning. like, the next time you find yourself hating yourself, you can understand that if you look at the opposite sides of you that are battling and integrate them inside yourself, you can die to the person that believed in the violence of that polarity, and be reborn to a new reality complete with grace-giving paradox. pretty soon, opposing sites or not, you'll learn to love and live in the balance of limbo that paradox affords.
So go ahead and kill your (past) self, and be born anew, like any good human can. Seek that Cristic mentality of death, resurrection, and rebirth and do us all a favor and take up your own shadow and INTEGRATE IT, so we dont have to do the hard work of killing you or forcing you to bring about your own death, aka forcing you to see the light of your own darkness.
